This is an adult blog, containing graphic and detailed descriptions of sexual situations and BDSM themes. Read at your own risk.
Master has given me a new task - or rather, instituted a renewal of a very old one, with a new implement.
He has long wanted me to become able to wear an anal plug for several hours at a time, but I have never been able to manage it. I have 2 plugs, one a pliable red, the other a slightly larger, firmer black with less "give." I hate them both. They hurt like a bitch going in, it takes me forever to get them seated, and I am very limited in what I can do, because I find they are so very uncomfortable I can't really stand up straight or walk around much, and worst of all, I tend to "lose" them. Yes, they work themselves right back out, and I almost always end up dirtying my clothes, never mind the towels I keep right nearby.
Trying to get used to wearing a plug is one of the first tasks Master ever gave me, way back when, and I tried. I really did. I found that I could only tolerate them for any length of time - and I mean, 30 minutes to an hour or so - if I was able to either lie on my bed the whole time, or possibly sit on a kitchen chair. Either way they were always painful and messy, and the aftermath of wearing one, between the pain, the bleeding (I almost always bled a little), and the clean-up left me crying more times than I care to admit, most recently about 4 weeks ago. Ugh.
Then Master told me about a different type of plug, often called a Princess plug. These are shorter, made of metal, so very smooth, and the base has a jewel, so they're actually kind of pretty. I wasn't thrilled, I'll be honest, but he really wants me to do this, so I researched and purchased one.
I have to tell you, the difference is like night and day. It's SO much easier to insert, needing far less lube, and the shorter length is so much more comfortable. I have very little discomfort and I can walk around and move and not feel like it's going to pop out at any second. I'll be honest, it isn't perfect; the setting of the jewel is quite pretty to look at but the edges really dig into me and it's really painful after about 45 minutes. I have managed to last an hour with it in place, and it's really hard to imagine keeping it in for longer than that, since it almost feels like it's cutting into me. Ouch, ouch.
The company that made my plug also makes a style which they claim is designed for long wear times, with a smaller, thicker jewel setting, so I've ordered one of those. I'm anxious to see if it really is more comfortable to wear, as I know Master really wants me to be able to tolerate it for several hours at a time.
I'm not crazy about the idea, I'll be honest; I have to go to the bathroom more often than that, and it's not going to be fun having to keep cleaning and reinserting it all the time. Still, if the new plug I've ordered is as much an improvement as the current one, I will be one happy sub.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
Melancholy
This is an adult blog, containing graphic and detailed descriptions of sexual situations and BDSM themes. Read at your own risk.
So Master arranged for us to have some quality time a few weeks ago - and I almost blew it. I mean, like, majorly. He'd trussed me in some ropes and inserted an anal hook - only the second time we'd used it, so it was new, and I was tied so tightly I could hardly move. And when he ordered me to suck him, well, I had a hell of a time trying to comply. When I bent over, the hook felt like it was trying to come out through my spine. I just could not find a way to reach without pain, and after a few minutes I lost my mind.
Looking back, I feel silly, and stupid, and horribly embarrassed by how badly I reacted. It was a major, major breach of behavior. I can't stand to think of it.
And now, 3 weeks past my meltdown, I don't feel like I've recovered. Or at least, I'm not confident in my ability to submit completely. Master and I haven't really discussed it so I'm not sure of his position, either, and uncertainty always makes me unsettled.
At this point, I can think of other ways I could have - or should have - handled my issue. If a similar situation ever occurs, I hope I've learned enough to be rational about it, instead of flying off the handle.
At Master's behest I have ordered a new implement. More on that when it arrives.
So Master arranged for us to have some quality time a few weeks ago - and I almost blew it. I mean, like, majorly. He'd trussed me in some ropes and inserted an anal hook - only the second time we'd used it, so it was new, and I was tied so tightly I could hardly move. And when he ordered me to suck him, well, I had a hell of a time trying to comply. When I bent over, the hook felt like it was trying to come out through my spine. I just could not find a way to reach without pain, and after a few minutes I lost my mind.
Looking back, I feel silly, and stupid, and horribly embarrassed by how badly I reacted. It was a major, major breach of behavior. I can't stand to think of it.
And now, 3 weeks past my meltdown, I don't feel like I've recovered. Or at least, I'm not confident in my ability to submit completely. Master and I haven't really discussed it so I'm not sure of his position, either, and uncertainty always makes me unsettled.
At this point, I can think of other ways I could have - or should have - handled my issue. If a similar situation ever occurs, I hope I've learned enough to be rational about it, instead of flying off the handle.
At Master's behest I have ordered a new implement. More on that when it arrives.
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