This is an adult blog, containing detailed descriptions of sexual situations and BDSM themes. Some situations are drawn from real life, and some are spun from my imagination. Read at your own risk.
Holy crap, it's been a loooong time since I posted on this blog!
In the past 4 months a lot has changed for me, including moving into a new home. And there have been changes in my BDSM life as well; Master and I had a very rough patch where we decided to sever our relationship. It was a short-lived separation, in the end, but the fallout from that time apart has followed me up to the present day. He took away my collar, which hurt, and it wasn't until very recently that I was allowed to have it back.
As you might imagine, all of this upheaval has left me unsettled in more ways than one, including doubts about my continued submissive role and journey of self-discovery.
As I move forward in my journey - and as I grow older, let's not beat around the bush here - I am discovering that my tolerances for certain things have changed. In some cases, they've increased, but in others, they've decreased. It's the decrease which concerns me, especially when it clashes with my professed desire to keep working toward becoming more perfectly submissive.
Conversely, I also feel like that short separation was necessary for me, to have space to take an objective look at where I am, where I was, where I hope to go. Since our reconciliation, Master has mentioned that he sees an increased commitment on my part, a sense of peace that I wasn't expressing before. And I suppose that's true. I find myself less inclined to argue with him or to object to things I objected strongly to not so long ago. I have told him, many times, that this is how I process things - I have to have time to ponder them, and then I can usually accept them and go on. When I feel pressured, then I become obstinate, and that's when things get ugly.
However, for today, I'm feeling good about who I am and who I'm becoming.
