This is an adult blog, containing graphic and detailed descriptions of sexual situations and BDSM themes. Read at your own risk.
So it's Sunday night, & I'm reflecting on the past week. It's been emotionally up and down for me, I admit; I've had very little communication from Master, & that always makes me - sad? Lonely? Unsettled? Hmm. All of the above, really.
I completed my tasks in a timely manner, and I've been working hard to maintain a pleasant attitude for him, so to have all of my efforts be ignored, really - well, it makes me wonder why the hell I bother. I feel like, if my obedience and pleasant demeanor is important, then let me know I'm improving, because otherwise I don't know if I'm changing the right things or moving toward what he wants. Grrr.
But I'm also working on developing patience, and trying not to let my immediate emotional state dictate my actions (I do tend to act impulsively, often to my detriment) so instead of firing off an angry/hurt/whiny email, I have reached out in what I believe is a quiet, respectful manner, asking to have some chat time with him when he can. His lack of response is discouraging to me, I freely admit; it's difficult to maintain a positive attitude when all I'm getting is silence. So much for the "communication is key" idea, hmm?
So while I wait, I continue to perform my assigned tasks, and hopefully Master's silence won't last too much longer.
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