Labels

This is an adult blog, containing graphic and detailed descriptions of sexual situations and BDSM themes. Read at your own risk.  


I've been doing some web-surfing over the past week or so, and I keep seeing labels like "submissive," or "bottom," or "slave," or "pet," or even "toy." There are others, of course, but I see these most frequently in my perusal.

Shakespeare aside ("A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"), too often, in my opinion, these labels carry too much weight. Why can't a person be all of these, or none of them, or a mix, or slip between them as their circumstances shift? Why lock yourself into one category, or one way of behaving?

Personally, I've flirted with them all, I think. Except perhaps for "slave," which I find a bit abhorrent, to be honest. I'm not judging, please; but it's a term I have a lot of trouble finding positive.  I mean, given how horrible slavery has been all throughout history, I find it difficult that anyone would willingly agree to true, full slavery. I know there are folks who identify themselves with that title, so perhaps I'm missing the appeal.

Sometimes I don't think any of them really apply to me. I've already voiced my objections to "slave," and some of the others have the same type of dehumanizing vibe to them, like "toy." I'm not comfortable relegating myself to being an inanimate object, a plaything, akin to a piece of furniture. Master is fond of telling me that "they're only words," but really, words are important. That's why I have so much trouble with these labels.

Perhaps part of the reason I'm struggling with a label is that I haven't settled into any of them, so I can't identify. I'm submissive, yes, sometimes; Master calls me "pet," but I don't spend my days on my hands and knees, drinking water from a bowl or vocalizing only in yips or meows. I can do that for short periods, but I cannot see it as a full-time pursuit. "Bottom?" Hmm. Perhaps. That term is generally applied to someone who takes the submissive role for short, focused periods of time, such as for a sexual encounter or perhaps a play scene. I definitely see the appeal of this; participating in a power exchange for a defined length of time, then stepping back into your usual mode of living.

Some days I feel like I could comfortably become someone who identifies as submissive on a full-time, continuous basis; on other days, I think there's no way I could ever live as a meek little sub who never questions her Master or fends for herself. Ugh, I don't know. Master (and yes, I have a Master, so obviously I'm more at ease with the idea of submission that my ramblings would indicate) would tell me I'm over-thinking it, I'm sure. But on the days when the mere idea of being meek and quiet (and unseen, which is my true fear, maybe) just seems impossible, I feel like I have to strike out and get to a place where I can breathe.