Time marches on.....

--- frank sexual discussion ---


It's been an odd few days. Things have been thrown into upheaval by the sudden death of my boss; the viewing was last night, the funeral was this morning, and i am caught feeling both numb and bemused. This weird emotional state is compounded by my current head cold/chest cold/sinus thing, which is miserable. i can't breathe, i'm awake several times a night, and i fell into such a terrible coughing fit at the burial mass today that the widow turned around to offer me a cough drop. Sigh. i excused myself to the rest room after that. 

But this, too, shall pass, like all things.

What i ought to be more concerned about is my impending mini-vacation with Sir on Friday. And i am, don't get me wrong; but i seem to be more involved with this death and my illness. i am trying to move past that and focus on Sir's plans. i have been keeping up with my ice cube task, with reciting my nightly devotion, with my weekly bead training, and i'm wearing Sir's token pretty much constantly (i do take it off to bathe, usually). i feel like i am doing what i should...... and when i slow down, take the time to focus inward, i recognize that, indeed, i am needy. i need, i want, i hunger, i yearn. Right now, actually, i can feel the desire bubbling inside me, the restless inner ache, the want and the hunger to touch and be touched, to serve and be rewarded. i have been given a list of things to have ready when Sir arrives - i am to be wearing a white tank top with white panties, have an anal plug in place, have candles burning and a bowl of ice cubes ready. And i am to come up with some kind of extra condition, as well. i'm not sure yet what to do about that, but i'll think of something. i hope.

In the meantime, i need to stop beating myself up about feeling stretched in too many directions. i'll take the rest of this evening to reminisce about my boss, to sort through my memories and feelings and savor them, then be refreshed in the morning and ready to focus more completely on Sir's needs and wants and desires and commands. i will take the time tomorrow to train my inner muscles again, per Sir's dictates. And i will consciously let go of the stress, the sadness, the strain and the guilt, and focus on how i can best get what i need, by giving Sir what He desires. Because believe me, i do need. A lot. 

Another workout

---- frank sexual discussion ----


Yesterday Sir seemed to be in an interesting mood..... He had some unusual requests for me. And i say "unusual" only because they were presented in a way that was new to me. i suppose they really aren't so unusual, after all.

Sir has arranged for a mini-escape next Friday, and we have been discussing His plans/ideas for that time together. Yesterday He told me He was frustrated, and that His cock needed His pussy, and that He wanted to fuck. Like, immediately. Well, circumstances being as they are, that was not possible at that moment. So I was told to retire to my room, take the glass dildo, and fuck His pussy with it. It didn't matter what i was doing at the time, it didn't matter if anyone else was in the house or not, i was to carry out His command.

All right. So i did that. A short time later i was instructed to go fill Sir's pussy with a string of 5 beads, and to leave them in place until i was told to remove them. Umm, OK. So i did that, as well. It took a few minutes to get all the beads in place, and boy, i could definitely feel the stretch as they pressed against the vaginal walls from the inside. It didn't hurt, exactly; it was more of a deep ache, a pressure, really, slightly uncomfortable but not painful. i kept those in for a couple of hours, perhaps, and then Sir got back in touch and demanded that i tell Him something good.  

So i told Him the truth - that even though Sir's pussy was filled, and that it had enjoyed being fucked on His orders, it wasn't satisfied, really, because it was missing its true owner; that Sir's property was hungry for Him, and only Him. Sir seemed to like that response, because He then told me to go push the beads out, using only the vaginal muscles. No hands!

And so, of course i complied. As i mentioned in a previous post, that is harder than it sounds. But i was able to do it, and i reported back to Sir when i was done.  He seemed pleased that i had been successful, and i was happy that i had pleased Him. My muscles felt sore - no, not really sore, just used, in the way you feel it when you work any muscle group you generally don't use much. You feel the residual stretching, the slightly looser feel, the pleasant tingling from engaging those muscles in a different way. That's how it felt. And it felt good, but truthfully, Sir's property still misses Him, and is eagerly awaiting the chance to show Him that truth.








 

A Task Well in Hand

--- frank sexual discussion ---


All right, so for anyone who read my previous post, i had talked about the joys of baths ..... and i had planned to indulge myself with a long hot soak.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out quite as i had hoped. i ran out of hot water, so it wasn't nearly as warm as i wanted it. As a consequence, instead of submerging myself for a nice soak, i was able to enjoy the heat for only a few minutes before the water began to rapidly cool. Bummer.

To add insult to injury, when i turned on the jets, THEY didn't work, either. Sigh. So i had a bubbleless, tepid bath. Blech. As a remedy for my poor sick not-feeling-well self, it totally bombed.
i picked up my medicine, took the first dose, discovered i had a fever, treated that, started some laundry, ran the vacuum, blah blah blah.  Nothing fun.

But do you remember me mentioning that i had planned to complete another of Sir's tasks for me?

Around mid-afternoon i went to the bedroom and retrieved the black beads. (Feeling under the weather or not, i have instructions which i am to follow, and since i'm not so ill i can't move, i am carrying out those orders.) So, i laid on the bed and began inserting the beads vaginally. i'm allowed to play a little, to lube things up to make insertion easier, but i'm not allowed to cum during this task. Anyway, after several minutes i had 5 of the beads in place. Then i got up on my knees and began the task of using those vaginal muscles to expel the beads. It's harder than you might think, actually; having to bear down and move them out. After many long minutes one popped free, all slick and warm and covered with juice. Another minute, and the second worked its way free. i admit, i was panting a bit by this point - working muscles you aren't used to using takes a toll, after all. Another minute or so of straining and pushing, and the final three just kind of slid out, all of them shining wetly.

i rolled to my side to rest a little bit.  i was tired, more tired than i ought to have been, more tired than i would have been if i were feeling well, i'm sure. Though honestly, when Sir had me do this the first time, i was physically fine, but i was still kind of tired afterward. i suppose that with more training, those muscles will become accustomed to being used like that, and i won't be so worn out by it. It took me just a few minutes to get everything cleaned up and put away, and then i moved out to the couch to rest again. i was sore, inside - not terribly so, but i could feel that i'd been stretched, and it was a little bit uncomfortable.       

And then, after an hour or so, i discovered an unexpected, not unwelcome, but kind of puzzling thing - i wanted to get fucked. No, seriously. Sir's pussy was just throbbing, aching, needing, wanting to be filled and made to cum. The rest of my body ached in that painful, i-am-so-sick way, and Sir's property just didn't seem to care. It wanted Sir's cock, and tongue, and fingers. It's been about two hours since then, and Sir's pussy is still wanting, still needing. It's a yearning kind of ache,  a searching kind of need. And while it's sort of distracting, and slightly uncomfortable, i'm puzzled
by it, to be honest. Why now, when i'm sick? What's wrong with me?

i suppose nothing is wrong with me, not really, except that i got things rolling by working with the beads, and since the urge has gone unsatisfied, it's just going to intensify. And this may be so wrong of me - but i kind of like it. i kind of like being on edge, having to wait, having to have Sir's participation and permission for relief.  It just reinforces the fact that it all belongs to Him, and i kind of like that, too.
 

Water, Water, Everywhere

--- frank  discussion ---

i'm curled up on my couch today, feeling unwell - tired, achy (and not in the good way), just blah. i'll be going to pick up a prescription soon, but first, i plan a nice long soak in my tub.

Aah, my tub. Have i mentioned how much i love tub baths?

Filling it with hot water, almost too hot, then stepping into it, feeling the heat scorch my toes. Sinking down into the water, lying back along the side of the tub so the water covers my shoulders. Being surrounded by all that wet warmth. Closing my eyes, letting the heat seep into my muscles, becoming relaxed. And when i open my legs, feeling the swirling, moving water against Sir's pussy.... it's a very sensual experience. By rocking my hips ever so slightly, i can get the water moving fairly rhythmically, so that it's almost like a soft wet caress on all of Sir's property. And it feels good. 

And if i turn on the jets, then the whole experience jumps up a notch. Feeling the water pulse against my skin, the pressure working on relaxing tense muscles, it's extra-good, almost like a massage. And when i've had enough of lying there, i can sit up and angle myself so that one of the jets streams directly on Sir's pussy. Mmmm. i've never cum from it - and i wouldn't now; i'm going to hold true to Sir's directive - but it does heighten the sensation, for sure. 

Yes, indeed, that is my plan for this morning: a nice hot soak, some relaxation, some loosening of tension. And then i'll be ready for fulfilling another of Sir's new tasks, which i'll detail in another post.    

An Unexpected Gift

--- explicit sexual discussion ---

So two days ago, in my blog, i mentioned how i'd been turned on and wanting to cum all day, but that i had not. Well, these past days have been more of the same - more of that deep, needy, inner ache, more of the desire to climax, more of the self-denial because i stayed true to Sir's instructions. Last evening was a bit more intense - i almost felt my desire was a living thing, waiting to be unleashed, yearning to run wild for me, with me, throughout me. I wore Sir's token to sleep last night, rubbing it between my fingers as i recited my nightly devotion (three times), feeling its smooth metal warming in my fingers.

This afternoon i was visiting with some family members, and we were seated around the kitchen table playing cards. i was still in a state of sexual arousal, but i was ignoring it as best i could and was being pretty successful at it. And then, i received a text message from my Sir. He asked if i was still feeling empty and aching and needy, and of course i said, Yes.

He then surprised me by offering me a boon - He told me i could excuse myself from the room and that i was allowed to play with His pussy, but i had only a 10-minute window to comply. After that time (by 2:35 p.m.), i was again to refrain from touching or stimulating His property. 

Well - no need to tell me twice!! I excused myself to the restroom immediately, dropped my jeans to my ankles and sat on the closed toilet seat with my knees wide open. My fingers sought out Sir's pussy, His clit, and my back arched and i let out a quiet moan, it just felt so good, especially after so many days wanting to be touched. I could smell my arousal and hear the squelching sounds of wetness between Sir's pussy lips. My fingers moved faster, rubbing in circles, and i felt those slick juices flowing out and coating my fingers. A tremor ran through my body and my head dropped back as my back arched again. My free hand clutched the side of the sink as i came, quietly, a fairly small orgasm, but it still felt good.

But i am greedy, and Sir told me only that i had a limited time frame, not that i was only allowed one climax. i dropped to the floor, my face pressed into the bath mat, my knees spread as far as possible with my ankles still confined by my jeans. The fingers of my free hand dug into the mat as i inserted a finger into Sir's pussy, gathering some of the fluid there, spreading it over Sir's clit and sparking another rush of aching need. i started rubbing again, harder this time, and my breath caught in my throat when i tried to stifle my groan. Anyone standing outside the door would have heard me, and i had left the door unlocked, so it's possible that someone could have come in and found me there. But i didn't care; i was concerned only with the sensations coursing through me, the feeling of rising desire, knowing i was approaching a pretty big orgasm this time around. Lying there on the floor, my ass in the air, i imagined Sir behind me, His cock pushing into His pussy, filling it, rocking me forward, fucking me, and i swear to God i could almost feel it, almost as if He were truly there. And that was enough - i choked on a cry and came hard, shuddering and squirming and riding the climax to the end.

i lay there, panting, for several moments, til my breathing slowed to normal. i licked my fingers clean, then stood up, redressed and washed my hands. My legs were tingling, my heart rate still accelerated, and i checked the time on my cell phone - 2:32 p.m. Yes! i had enjoyed Sir's gift and still had 3 minutes to spare. i left the bathroom and returned to the kitchen on shaky legs, satisfied and feeling good. And i will admit that a few times after that, i rested my chin on my hands, my fingers curled up under my nose, in order to enjoy the scent of sex that clung to my skin.   







 

 

State of Arousal

--- frank sexual discussion ---

This has been one of those days where i've been turned on all day. No, really - i'm serious. From that last warm gush of fluid from my ice cube this morning, to the wet heat of the tub water, to the feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket, i've been in a steady state of sexual awareness. It continued all day, sometimes felt more keenly, sometimes less, but it was ever-present. 

Sitting at the red light, i wanted. Cooking dinner, i needed. Sipping coffee, i desired. Even now, while composing this blog post, i ache. i can be greedy that way ..... yesterday's session with Sir was fulfilling and much-appreciated, yet it left me wanting more. More of His presence, more of His voice, His touch, His direction. And yes, more climaxes, too. i do so enjoy cumming.  :)

Good God, i want to cum tonight. Sir's pussy is empty and wanting, and i can feel it throbbing, yearning, needing. It aches, so much ..... i would normally call it a good ache, if there were any way of satisfying it, if i were allowed to climax.

But i will not. i will not finger myself, or use any toys. i will be faithful to Sir's directive, which is, i may not cum without His express permission. i will recite my evening devotion as i always do, i will fall asleep with Sir on my mind, i will perform my task in the morning as usual. And i will be content in my obedience in this matter.    

But i'm only human, and it is not easy to behave.   :)

Training, and a Twist

--- explicit sexual discussion ---



So Sir spent some time with me today..... i was grateful for it. It has been a while since we've had time together, and i was feeling a bit adrift, a little out of sorts - and if i'm honest, a little nervous, as well. 
i function best with frequent contact (and yes, i DO mean that literally AND figuratively). When left to my own devices for too long, i tend to become uncertain and withdrawn, and that never leads to good things.

Anyway, Sir had me begin our session by reciting my devotion, which i did. Then i had to assume the positions He asked for (do you remember when i discussed these? They are numbered - 1, 2, 3, and 4). He wanted to know if i remembered them, and i do.

Sir told me i had done well thus far, and then He told me to go get whatever would fill His pussy the fullest. Hmm. That's a pretty open-ended order .... but He allowed me to choose what i'd like to use, and that was a boon He didn't have to give me. i selected the black beads; i have 2 sets, so there are 10 beads total to play with. i was able to insert the first 5 pretty easily, though i was feeling fairly full by that point. Sir had to tell me to slow down, as i was struggling with getting number 6 to go in. i get impatient, especially when Sir is watching me, and i try to rush things. And as always when i get in my own way, it doesn't turn out too well.

Anyway, Sir made me slow down, relax and allow myself the time to stretch. It was easier after that, and #6 went in all right. Number 7, however, was a real stretch; i was full, and i could feel all the beads pushing against the walls of Sir's pussy. i can't say that it was painful, exactly, but i definitely felt a deep inner soreness which was uncomfortable, to be sure. Still, i kept working at it, and eventually i was able to shove #7 in there with the rest. But that was the limit. Once the 7 were in place, and i'd had a minute or two to adjust to the fullness inside me, Sir told me to play with His pussy. As i rubbed His property, feeling the desire build, Sir began talking to me, asserting His ownership of all that i am, telling me some of what He expects of His sub, driving home the point that He is the one in control. And i know that, i do; i accept it, truly; i'm much less resistant that i was earlier in this journey. i don't claim to be perfect, and Sir concentrated on a couple of the things i still have issues with. 

(i have found - and i may be interpreting this wrong, but this is how it seems to me - that Sir likes to talk to me while i'm on the edge of orgasm, holding me on the edge while He makes His most pressing argument, the demands He knows i have the most issue with, refusing to allow me to cum until i acknowledge His ownership and His right to use me as He sees fit. Some people might see that as manipulative, but i figure, i know what the pattern is, and i really don't have to agree if i honestly don't want to. Submission, in my opinion,  is all about self-discipline; i choose my behavior, i choose to respond in a submissive manner, i choose to surrender control. It all hinges on my choices.)

Once i answered Sir with the proper response, attitude, and respect, He commanded me to cum. And i did, quite hard, too. i could feel my inner muscles contracting around the beads, and it felt good. And then Sir made me climax again; i think it was both a test of obedience and a reward, mixed together, because i had to prove to Him that i wanted to, that i needed to. i faltered a little, i admit; i didn't mean to, and it wasn't an intentional act of disobedience. i just wasn't ready to cum the second time as quickly as Sir commanded me to. Have you heard the expression, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"? That's where i was. i wanted to obey, i just couldn't get the body to cooperate at that precise moment. But Sir gave me a second chance, and i was able to comply that time. 

Part of my hesitation, i think, was also related to the directive Sir had just given me, to find a female to join us in a session. Gulp. My brain went off in a million directions, turning that over, and i became distracted by the potential ramifications. Sir knew exactly what had happened, because He told me in no uncertain terms that i was not being replaced, nor subjugated under another sub; and then he said, "you are Mine." And that simple statement did more to reassure me than anything else, and i felt Sir's pussy respond to His claim; and i came pretty much right in response to His assertion.

But Sir wasn't finished with me yet. Once He was satisfied, He had another twist in mind: He told me i was not allowed to remove the beads with my hands; i had to push them out. Well. That is much harder than it sounds, and i felt silly, then a little frustrated, trying to comply. It took me several minutes to expel the 2 beads of the second string, and i did have to resort to pulling one of the beads of the first string free, before i could manage to push the rest out. i cannot even begin to tell you what an odd sensation that was. And then Sir told me He has yet another task for me - once each week i am to insert 5 beads (one whole string) and then use only those muscles to expel them. i suppose all muscles can be trained.....  oh, and i am not allowed to cum during this task, either. That restriction has not changed. 

So, i am not replacing any of my previous tasks; i am adding to them. i am still forbidden from climaxing without Sir's express permission. Still, i feel satisfied with today's session, and with the way i'm progressing. i have a long way to go, and many more lessons to learn and to share.

  

 As always, comments are welcome. Please just be respectful of any other opinions expressed. Thank you.






  
 

Fall Clean-up

It snowed here today, quite early this morning, great big fat flakes that floated gently to earth and covered the ground with a thin blanket of white, hiding the old dead leaves and the brown grass. It was easy to look at all that crisp fresh whiteness and think, Oooh, how pretty - all the moldering remains of Fall's decay are gone.

Of course, that was true only on the surface. Underneath that snowy layer lurked the dead crumbling leaves, the dry brown lawn, the broken twigs and crushed acorn shells. Adding the snow doesn't clear away the detritus, it merely disguises it. When the sun shines bright and melts away the snow, all the leaves and twigs and acorns are still there. What's really needed, then, is to get out the rake (or the mower) and clean up the yard, removing all the decaying bits and clearing the way for winter's restful period, before spring's rebirth.  

And i thought, It seemed appropriate. i have autumn times - where my soul feels dried up and crumbling, and i'm losing any sense of peace and joy; times when (through no fault of Sir's, just my own) i feel neglected or under-appreciated or lonely or confused; times when i get bogged down under decaying attitudes, moldering fears and dried-up ways of looking at life. Then when the snow comes - a brief respite where i break out of my routine and add a layer of newness - i can fool myself into thinking that those old patterns are gone. But the truth is, those decaying attitudes and moldering fears are still there, and what i really need to do is to get out the rake and clean up the yard. When the self-doubt is cleared away, there is room for self-assurance to take root. When i can let go of fear, there is room for exploration. When self-imposed limits are uprooted, there is room for new experiences to blossom.

And just like with a physical yard, cleaning up doesn't happen only once; it is a continual process. i'll keep working on clearing away the self-doubt, the self-imposed limitations, the nagging fears, and along the way, hopefully i'll reap self-confidence, satisfaction from service, openness to new ideas. Sir always asks if i trust Him; i keep saying, It isn't a matter of trust; it's a matter of getting out of my own way, working on issues inside me, learning to clear out the things that hold me back so that new attitudes can take root. Sticking to my daily tasks helps with that, forcing me to focus on Sir and how i am to serve Him, reiterating what He expects of me, training (slowly, yes, but making progress nonetheless!) myself into obedience. i still have a long way to go, of course. i will be Sir's work-in-progress for as long as He'll have me. But i do see that i have the potential to make Him proud, and when i do, then i'll receive the things i need, as well.         

Pause, Reflect, Renew

So here it is Saturday night.... wow, the week has gone by so quickly! It's been a super-busy week, and next week will be more of the same. It never rains, but it pours, eh?

Sir has pointed out that i have fallen behind in my posting schedule; i have no real excuse, other than so much of my time and energy has been consumed with work and other issues this week. i apologize for my poor performance; i will be more careful to maintain my regular schedule going forward. 

i can say, quite truthfully, that despite the insanity of my schedule, i have been faithful in the performance of my daily ice cube task, and in the nightly recitation of my devotion. i wear the collar which was gifted to me by Sir every day (i sent a picture of me wearing it to Sir today, and i'm wearing it as i type this, as a matter of fact). 

Once Sir pointed it out, i realized that i sometimes have trouble balancing my obligations to myself with the obligations i have to others, and usually, the obligations to myself are sacrificed. Why do i do that? Why do i automatically - honestly, i didn't even see that's what i had done! - put my own needs/wants/desires behind those of everyone else on the planet?? Why do i assume that the things that i want for myself are less important than the things others want from me? i have no idea..... but i do it all the time. 

i need to stop that. No, i NEED to stop that. i am no less important than anyone else, no less worthy than anyone else, no less valuable in my own right than anyone else. i'm not saying i'm better..... but i'm certainly not less. And that is a shift in my pattern of thought. A good shift, i hope. 

So - shake off the cobwebs, throw off the mantle of complacency, adopt an air of self-awareness. And keep moving forward.

Fogged up windows.....

---- frank discussion -----

And so i was given a specific task by my Sir for today; when i dressed for the office this morning, i was to wear a skirt, and i was NOT to wear panties. 

Hmmm.

The other task i was given was, i was to retire to my car over my lunch break and make myself cum while reciting my devotion. 

Hmmm, again.

Well, the first part was pretty simple. i have only one skirt which fits me, so i pulled that on. i also have some thigh-high stockings, patterned, with the really strong rubbery elastic to hold them up. i don't really like wearing them for extended periods, as the elastic tends to chafe my skin, and i end up with an itchy red line all the way around my leg.... but Sir spoke, and i had to obey.

And honestly, it wasn't too bad. Most of the time i was actually able to forget, or at least ignore, the fact that i was wearing no panties. i was conscious of it each time i recrossed my legs, however. And by the end of the day the elastic had scribed a red welt around each thigh. Still, it didn't kill me, and there were a few times when i inwardly marveled at my own daring. Yes, OK, fine, so maybe it isn't really "daring" if i'm the only one who knows. But i am in no way any kind of exhibitionist, so yes, for me, it was pretty bold.

i had a bigger problem following through on my other task. It was freakin' cold out today, and i got a few odd looks as i made my way out to my car. The weak sun had not really warmed the inside, i can tell you. Brr! 

Anyway, i climbed inside all bundled in my long coat. i had to fuss with it a bit, so that i wasn't sitting on it so much that my movements were restricted. i had taken my cell phone with me - i had a call to make, you see - and i held it up to my ear and propped my elbow against the window. With my free hand, i hiked up the fabric of my skirt and reached between my legs. My fingers were cold at first, and it took a few moments to get any wetness to appear; i was self-conscious, sitting there in view of the building, and feeling a bit silly, if the truth be told. i shifted my knee further to the side so i had better access, and then i concentrated on bringing myself off. 

i started reciting my devotion, out loud, and that made me focus on Sir, and that really helped get the juices flowing. My body - if i may be granted the privilege of calling it that, just for clarity's sake; it truly is Sir's body, but that sounds confusing - responds to Sir almost immediately, so focusing on Him resulted in me relaxing, opening, growing wet and responding. As i stimulated Sir's pussy and clit, my voice became breathier, even hitching in the middle of my words at times. i felt my responses growing stronger, hips beginning to rock against my fingers, and i lost my place in my recitation. i had to start over again, which was harder than it sounds, because i was feeling close to the edge of orgasm, and i kept stumbling over the words. 

And then, into my mind came Sir's voice, commanding me to "Cum, now," and i did, biting my lip to keep my vocalizations minimal. Sir doesn't like that very much, but i needed to be discreet. i panted while i waited for my heart rate to calm, for my breathing to normalize. And then i remembered that i had not brought any kind of towel with me, not even paper towels from the rest room. Hmmm. My fingers were slick and sticky, so i licked them clean. There wasn't much i could do about the stickiness between my legs, however. 

i'd spent less than 15 minutes outside, but i headed back inside anyway, as that was certainly long enough for a phone call. i hung up my coat, shook out my skirt and went to the rest room to clean up a little. Still, for the remainder of the day, i could feel the residual wetness between my thighs. Sir was never far from my thoughts, either. i imagine that was the whole point.   :)



As always, comments are welcome. Please just be respectful of other opinions expressed. Thank you.       







  

The Fling's the Thing

---- explicit sexual content ----


So after the challenging week i've had, Sir spent some time with me today. Did i ever need it! i needed His physical presence, His voice, His direction. And especially His praise and encouragement.

To begin our session, Sir had me stuff a string of 5 anal beads into His pussy. They are fairly good sized, so that 5th one was quite a squeeze - a big stretch and a stab of near-pain before i managed to get it seated all the way. He inspected my handiwork and i'm glad to say that i passed His scrutiny. He gave me a couple of minutes to adjust while we talked of other things, and then cool fingers began stroking me, rubbing me, rolling over me. Sir likes it when i make noise, so i tried not to stifle my voice. 

As the rubbing continued, i could feel myself growing wetter, and i was a bit surprised at how much..... i might have thought those beads would be in the way, but the wetness was bountiful and seeped out around the beads. Those fingers touching me pressed inside His pussy, gathering up that moisture, becoming slick and wet and feeling so very good as they rubbed me. Sir told me to let him know when i was approaching orgasm, and after several minutes i gasped out that i was close to cumming..... and then He forbade me from climaxing. Ah - time for another lesson. 

 And as i lay there, writhing and biting my lip, holding on to the edge of orgasm without falling over, Sir enforced His ownership of all i am and all i will be, and  He reasserted His right to use His property as He sees fit. Now honestly, at that point, it's not so far-fetched to believe that i might say anything - anything - if only He will allow his slut to cum. God, being held there can hurt. And Sir is persistent, and at last i acquiesced and agreed to comply with His directives.

And Sir is also quick to reward, so when my attitude was properly subdued and in line with His, He allowed me to cum, and it was hard and strong and hot and so very, very good. And then He told me to bring myself off for a second time, and i complied, and that orgasm was even stronger than the first one. And Sir was pleased, and told me i had done well, and that felt almost as good as the climax had.

Sir also tasked me with coming up with 4 ways in which i might please a guest He might choose to share me with. This is something i am not comfortable with..... i am not a bag of chips, to be passed around at a party. i'm worth more than that. It is difficult to feel valued when being given away. i know that everyone has their own preferences and their own levels of what they can do and what they can't, and this is one that i'm afraid i can't. But, i am being molded into obedience, so in that sense, i am trying to go with it.

Umm, first i think i'd need to help set Sir's guest at ease. If i am comfortable in my own skin (literally), then things should go more smoothly, with less self-consciousness. i hope. So i suppose it would fall to me to make His guest comfortable. Sir has mentioned that He would like me to show a guest to a seat, opening the guest's pants, and take them into my mouth, just for a minute, just enough to relax them.

After that, it will depend on what Sir has decided to share. If He wants me to suck His guest, i will. If he wants me to accept a tongue, or fingers, or a cock, into Sir's pussy, then i will comply. If He wants me to touch or lick or stroke or tease or pinch or caress, then i will. The very idea scares me to death, but Sir has faith that i can, so i suppose that i can.  (Never fear...... all progress in this area, or all others, will be blogged about.)

Assuming Sir's guest is male, i would lavish attention on his cock, with my hands and with my mouth. i would wrap my fingers around his shaft and stroke him, caressing him, and then run my tongue along its length. i want to hear his gasp when i take him into my mouth and suck him, pulling him in as much as i can, fondling his balls with my fingers, pumping his cock in my hand even as my mouth suckles the tip, sliding lower to take more and then pulling back, so he slides along my tongue.

But i don't want my Sir to feel shut out, so i would like to roll to my hands and knees, turning my oral attentions to Sir's cock, opening my knees so that Sir's guest can fuck my pussy. Sir won't mind if his guest's thrusts push me forward onto His cock, making me gag and splutter. Perhaps if i do a good job, Sir will allow me to cum, even around his guest's cock. Although really, even my orgasms belong to Sir, so perhaps He would have me wait and only cum for Him.

If Sir's guest is a female, well ..... that one is trickier. Still, as i am a girl, i have a fairly good idea of what another girl might like. i think i might lave my tongue over her nipples, waiting for them to pebble up so i can pull them between my teeth and gently bite them. i know i like that, myself. Then my fingers will search out her pussy, testing to see if she's wet yet, pressing a finger inside, then a second, and pumping them in and out of her. Once my fingers are slick, i'll pull them out and rub her clit with them, letting my fingers dance and tickle and glide, so that she can't help but buck her hips up into my hand. i might slide down, then, reinserting my fingers and taking her clit into my mouth, lashing that sensitive nub with my tongue until she cries out and cums around my fingers, soaking them with her juices. Once she calms, i'll slide my fingers free and lick them clean.

Another thing she might like, perhaps, is to ride Sir's cock. If so, my role will be different, more of a supportive position, i think. I'll be able to fondle her nipples, squeeze her breasts, maybe even suckle them a bit. And as she rides, maybe i can sneak my hand between her and Sir, using my fingers to brush her clit or to fondle Sir's balls. i won't be able to NOT touch Sir somehow, i don't think. But as i've said before, it really all depends on what Sir has decided to share.

 




comments, as always, are welcome. just please be respectful of other expressed opinions.

Aftermath

First off - to any reader dealing with the aftermath of Sandy, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. That storm was a real bitch, though i was pretty lucky; the worst that happened to me was losing my electricity for 16+ hours. It was not fun, no, but i thank God it was not worse.

The lack of power, of course, kept me off the Internet, and away from the TV. i could not post, obviously, and once the power came back on and the town resumed "normality," i found that my words didn't flow, like they usually do. Hmmm. Admittedly, i have had many stressers over the past week, not just Sandy, and i'm sure all of the mess weighing down my mind is to blame.

Still, i have been working on my daily tasks..... the ice cube task was skipped while the power was out, as i did not open the freezer, but otherwise, i have followed through on that every day, and i have recited my evening devotion each night before i go to sleep. The kneeling has been more hit-and-miss, though i do accomplish it most of the time. Training with the bit, however .... ugh. i'm not sure if it's the taste of it, or the fact that it makes me drool, but i still gag on that thing. And it forces my jaw into a weird position and makes it really ache. i have issues with the joint of my jaw anyway - it pops when i open my mouth too wide and tends to lock up and hurt when i overuse it, which makes giving oral a challenge, i can tell you.

Anyway, my ice cube this morning seemed extra-cold, somehow; i not only felt the chill inside me, like usual, but my lower spine also ached, a twinge-y, almost throbbing sensation. That has pretty much resolved by now, but it took me by surprise. Sir's pussy has remained empty for this past week, giving me time to try to absorb the lessons of our time away and attempt to focus on obedience. i admit, it's been a tough week in many ways (did you catch the mention of "stressers" i made earlier?) and i can't decide if the quiet has been soothing as i deal with the other issues, or if it's been irritating, leaving me floundering.

In any case, having Sir's token as a physical, tangible symbol has been reassuring. i'm grateful for it.